You never realize how independant a two year old is until you have a three month old. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by how completely dependant this precious baby is on me. She owns me... my time, my sleep, my body, everything about me revolves around her. I can't make one move without consulting her... including trips to the bathroom, which I still have to get okayed from my other two bosses. If it were for anyone else, I would feel oppressed and resentful, but not for my own children. Sure, there are those days when I want to run to Target to escape, but all in all, considering the level of sacrifice, it amazingly doesn't feel like that big of a sacrifice. And the rewards are huge, or small, depending on how you look at them. Like when the girls come up to me and tell me they love me, just because. To tell it seems so small and yet, to feel it is so huge. Tonight as I've been feeding Baby she's been smiling and laughing and so desperately trying to carry a conversation with me. It's precious. Everything else around me seems topsey-turvey, and yet, in these moments, I might as well be in heaven.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
My little angel
You never realize how independant a two year old is until you have a three month old. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by how completely dependant this precious baby is on me. She owns me... my time, my sleep, my body, everything about me revolves around her. I can't make one move without consulting her... including trips to the bathroom, which I still have to get okayed from my other two bosses. If it were for anyone else, I would feel oppressed and resentful, but not for my own children. Sure, there are those days when I want to run to Target to escape, but all in all, considering the level of sacrifice, it amazingly doesn't feel like that big of a sacrifice. And the rewards are huge, or small, depending on how you look at them. Like when the girls come up to me and tell me they love me, just because. To tell it seems so small and yet, to feel it is so huge. Tonight as I've been feeding Baby she's been smiling and laughing and so desperately trying to carry a conversation with me. It's precious. Everything else around me seems topsey-turvey, and yet, in these moments, I might as well be in heaven.
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2 comments:
I agree 200% with you! My sweet Lily owns me too, and when she starts wailing in the middle of the night I grudgingly pull myself out of bed muttering the whole way, but the minute I see her my heart melts and I know it is worth the slave work! I cannot wait until Lily starts to giggle. She likes to grunt but rarely coos. Doesn't it kill you when they look straight into your eyes and wimper? Oh. I just love it. Thank you for that blog. It really put what I was feeling into words.
Just think Heather, maybe finding the right amount of dependence on Mom and Dad is just what we are trying to figure out with Heavenly Father. And just like with HF, too much independnce isn't a good thing. She will only be a baby for one instant in the grand eternal scheme of things, and you are the only person who gets to be apart of it. You're so lucky! (Can you tell I am gonna have a baby in 4 days, I am a little baby hungry).
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